threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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