he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
