i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
