Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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