in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
