do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
