So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
