I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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