Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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