youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
