y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
