Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
