D3 body, D1 cock
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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