you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your penis caused this!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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