Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
