Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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