I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
