why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
