these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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