But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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