this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
