Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
