She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
