I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
