next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
