took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
