i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Terrible idea I love it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
