I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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