I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
