Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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