3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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