let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
