It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
