just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
