Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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