please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
