my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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