Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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