Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
