before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
