Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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