I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
