I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
