Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
