just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
