the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
