on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
