i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
