im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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