I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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