So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
